I wasn't really planning on sitting down and writing this blog right now, but I don't know if I'll have the oppurtunity later tonight. Today has turned out to be a beautiful day. I didn't really expect it to, but that's the nature of life these days.
I woke up this morning at seven to leave by eighty thirty so I could drive 2 1/2hrs home to attend church at North Mar. I loaded as much in my car as I could to save myself from having to pack as much when that BIG day comes along and then set off. On my way out of town I just felt God was calling me to commun with Him. I put on some Christmas music (Joy To The World - Jim Breckman) and was instantly right where God wanted me.
Here it is. I began asking myself, "Do I really have faith that God is going to pull this whole Peru thing all together?" I started wondering about myself because, I wasn't worrying the amount that I thought I should have been. When I understood that I sat there and thought, "Am I preparing myself for failure?"
This is something I've been dealing with a lot this week. The fact that this money has to come from somewhere, and it's not out of my own pocket, is heavy on my shoulders. God keeps showing me that He is going to provide through conversations I have with friends and coworkers who want to give a hand, but I have built this structure in my mind. I've prepared myself by saying, "Well, if this doesn't work out then God will have something else for me." Yes, this is true. But, my conviction laid thick in my mind anyway. I started asking God if he wanted me to give Him 100%. There was a point in my drive where I told Him that, yes, I give Him all of my faith and trust.
Fast forward and hour and a half later and I pull into the church parking lot, fifteen minutes later, and a little upset that I may have missed a crucial segment of the sermon. My Youth Pastor was speaking today so I really wanted to make sure I heard all he had to say. I walked in a sat by myself. I'm so happy that I did.
From the very first slide I knew that God was with me. I was in awe... EVERY stinking church service that I have been to has had a major role of speaking to my soul for ease and comfort. This one was no different if not more so. The first slide read... "Faith [God is a God of impossibilities.]" Something to that effect. Again, I was stunned. My ears were perked and I grabbed an envelope from the pew in from of me to take notes.
Basically, (I'll just give you the meat of the whole thing) it touched on the very subject that God had placed on my heart in the car. I just want to scream to you that this is no way in anyway possible just coincidence. These past few weeks have been too PERFECT to be coincidence. God has an amazing plan. Anyway, the series at church has been based in Romans, apparently. The segment we looked at today was Romans 4:16-21. We had to go back and forth from this passage to Genesis 15 to get the whole idea. This was about God's promise to Abraham that he would have a child at the age of 100. The mere impossibility was laughable, but here's the amazing thing. Abraham BELIEVED God. Romans described the situation as dead. That Sarah's womb was dead, but God takes death and makes things live. He takes things that don't exist and brings them into existence. At this point I had well fallen out of my chair. I was floored. This was absolutely God's voice speaking to me. Then in verse 20 of Romans 4 it said that Abraham did not doubt. Rather, his was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God. Sigh... He is so good. FINALLY, the most amazing thing was this... verse 18... it actually said in the passage "Against all hope..." Abraham still believed, and verse 21... He was fully... FULLY persuaded.
The Lord has spoken to me once again today. His perfect will is making itself known to me. Faith works when it comes to this God who specializes in impossibilities. My financial burden is a dead situation. I cannot do this on my own. But, He has the power to bring this situation to life. I am calling on Him, 100%. I do not doubt that I am going to Peru and that He will provide.
I have an amazing group of friends... I am so blessed that God has given them to me. He is to be given glory folks. I will do as Abraham did and give all the glory to Him. He will do everything needed to get me to Peru... and I will have done nothing.
Amen?
Welcome to the fold. We Extremies check out the website often to see who the new adds are to the organization :) Kind of like facebook. Anyway, I wanted to share that I've read a couple of your more recent entries and you're right on track - even with an ocassional ugly heart or series of doubts. I didn't blog about those questions, but I certainly prayed through them or journaled about them. I was thinking France before Peru came about and had to begin to teach myself about the culture - I've realized sometimes love is a slow burn into existence and so we pray for love and compassion towards people we barely know. It comes with time.
ReplyDeleteMay God continue to make himself known to you as you prepare and may he provide the breadcrumbs for you to follow in faith. See you soon!